“I was really stupid, I really was.”
Two nights later, Qi Fang sat with Li Congming and Qin Xiaosa in a restaurant by the street-facing window, holding a glass of Sprite as he lamented:
“I only knew Shen Yu had a cold personality and didn’t like interacting with others.”
“But I failed to realize that someone with his temperament would never ‘settle’ for marriage unless it was something he genuinely wanted.”
“Looking back, it all makes sense now,” Qi Fang said. “Since middle school, Shen Yu never truly refused anything from me, whether it was the meals I brought him or invitations to go out…”
“Why am I so stubborn? We’re already married, yet I’ve become even more timid than before. I don’t dare to take initiative in getting closer to Shen Yu.”
“I even suggested sleeping in separate rooms and bought a duplex apartment with two master bedrooms over ten meters apart…”
Qi Fang trailed off, downing a glass of bitter Sprite, his face etched with regret that seemed almost tangible.
Li Congming stuffed his mouth with food from the table and mumbled, “You’re just making trouble for yourself, aren’t you? I used to think I was the slowest one, not realizing your ulterior motives towards Shen Yu after all these years of friendship. Now I see you’re even slower than me.”
Qin Xiaosa, not wanting to drink Sprite, had the restaurant bring him a can of beer. He sipped it leisurely and said:
“Fang-zi, do you remember your wedding with Shen Yu?”
Qi Fang looked up and replied, “Of course I do. Every full moon night, I project it and watch it over and over again.”
Li Congming quipped, “Do you transform into a werewolf with background music too?”
Qi Fang affectionately tried to stuff a pair of chopsticks full of bright red chili peppers into his mouth.
Qin Xiaosa continued, “During the ring exchange and vows, we were all worried below the stage, afraid that Shen Yu might dislike such occasions and not follow the usual ceremony.”
“But he carefully placed that ring on your finger, and when the officiant asked if he was willing to spend his life with you, Shen Yu didn’t even hesitate before answering.”
“Do you know what I was thinking at that moment?” Qin Xiaosa asked with a smile.
He raised his glass to Qi Fang and Li Congming, saying, “In that instant, I thought, you two troublesome souls have finally put all of us friends and family at ease.”
“Shen Yu won’t make decisions he believes are wrong,” Qin Xiaosa said. “So, on that day, I knew you two would definitely be together for the long haul.”
Deeply moved, Qi Fang clinked his Sprite against Qin Xiaosa’s beer can, saying, “Good brother, I’ll finish this drink. You do as you please.”
Qin Xiaosa looked at the beer in his hand: “…”
“There’s something else I need to tell you,” Qi Fang added. “I’ve found the cause of Shen Yu’s condition. I emailed Chen Ke and Dr. Watson about it yesterday.”
Li Congming perked up, finally putting down his chopsticks. “What do you mean?”
Qi Fang recounted the conversation he had with Shen Yu on N Island two days ago.
Qin Xiaosa commented, “Shen Yu feels he’s neglected you too much and worries your relationship might end up like his parents’. This led to subconscious pressure, resulting in excessive focus and cognitive dissonance.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Li Congming said. Unable to reach across the table to pat Qi Fang’s shoulder, he waved his hand in the air to convey the sentiment, then continued:
“I asked Chen Ke before. The causes of such rare psychological conditions are complex and can’t be generalized. Besides, didn’t you say Shen Yu’s condition is improving? These things can come and go quickly. He might be fine before you know it.”
“Hm?” Qin Xiaosa, who had been busy with work lately, was unaware of this news. “Shen Yu is getting better?”
“…” Qi Fang: “He’s halfway there, not fully recovered yet.”
Li Congming mercilessly exposed, “Shen Yu now thinks Qi Fathead is inadequate. The other day, he even asked our hospital to examine him.”
Qi Fang: “?”
Qi Fang: “Li Congming, you’re paying for this meal today.”
Li Congming angrily retorted, “Why? Aren’t I just telling the truth?”
Qin Xiaosa: “.”
Watching these two start bickering again, Qin Xiaosa thought helplessly that he had already paid for the meal.
“Stop, stop, stop,” he raised his hand, attempting to mediate this smokeless war. “As long as he’s improving, everything else is trivial. Anyway, Shen Yu will soon stop thinking you have this condition.”
Li Congming poked his head out from the sidelines. “It’s such an easily provable matter. Why doesn’t Shen Yu believe it yet? Shouldn’t you reflect on yourself?”
Qi Fang nodded calmly. “Indeed.”
“A married man doesn’t argue with single dogs,” he smiled at Li Congming. “Instead of arguing with me here, why don’t you think about how to make Dr. Chen like you?”
Li Congming lost his composure. “…You!”
“I’m leaving,” Qi Fang glanced at the time and stood up hurriedly. “I have something to do tonight. We’ll chat another day.”
*
It was past ten at night when Shen Yu returned home today.
In the morning, he had gone with Qi Fang to the city’s cemetery management office to bury Chen Ziqiu in his native hometown.
Due to personal matters and a heavy workload, Shen Yu only returned home after resolving issues at the laboratory.
Upon entering, Shen Yu reached out to press the living room light switch several times, but there was no response. The apartment remained shrouded in darkness.
“?” Perplexed, Shen Yu instinctively reached for his phone to call Qi Fang.
The next moment, a faint candlelight suddenly flickered in the apartment. Shen Yu looked towards the light source to see Qi Fang crouching in the center of the living room, lighter in hand, igniting heart-shaped candles arranged on the floor.
“Sorry, Shen Yuyu,” Qi Fang rubbed his nose, saying awkwardly. “The fuse that came with the candles seems faulty. I have to light these ninety-nine candles manually.”
Shen Yu: “…”
He changed his shoes at the entrance, then approached Qi Fang, also bending down. He picked up a lit candle from the floor and slowly began lighting the others, his eyelashes lowered.
Qi Fang was surprised. “Shen Yu?”
Shen Yu glanced at him and said, “This way is faster.”
Qi Fang: “…Alright.”
Something just felt a bit odd.
After spending about twenty minutes lighting all the candles, Qi Fang cleared his throat and stood up, saying, “Alright, Shen Yuyu, you can go stand by the door now.”
Shen Yu obediently returned to the doorway.
Qi Fang straightened his suit and pulled out a bouquet of white, purple, and blue violets. With a serious expression, he said, “Shen Yu, I don’t know if you remember, but today marks our two-and-a-half-year wedding anniversary.”
“That first proposal, I prepared too hastily,” he continued. “I hope Shen Yuyu can give me another chance to ask you to embark on a new stage of our relationship together.”
Shen Yu walked over and gently fingered the petals in Qi Fang’s arms.
Then, just as he had done over two years ago, he answered earnestly and without hesitation, “Yes.”
Qi Fang excitedly tossed the flowers onto a nearby sofa and embraced Shen Yu tightly.
“I love you,” Qi Fang took a deep breath and murmured again, “…I love you, Shen Yu.”
Shen Yu responded with a soft “Mm,” then added, “Me too.”
Those words brought tears to Qi Fang’s eyes.
“Then, can I,” he asked emotionally, “move into your bedroom tonight?”
Shen Yu: “?”
*
[If your partner suffers from erectile dysfunction (ED), accompany them for active treatment, and offer care and encouragement at appropriate times. Even if there are failures, you shouldn’t argue loudly, deepening your partner’s psychological shadow. Instead, use gentler methods of comfort.]
[Most importantly, neither party should develop a fear. Face it bravely together!]
After brushing his teeth, Shen Yu came out of the bathroom to find Qi Fang enthusiastically making the bed.
He had showered and was wearing a light gray set of pajamas. His hair was tousled from blow-drying, and though he looked completely disheveled, his expression remained spirited.
Shen Yu sat down on the neatly made bed, quietly watching Qi Fang bustle about. Before turning off the lights, he took out a box of kidney-strengthening tonic in front of Qi Fang.
Qi Fang: “???”
Didn’t he stuff this box under the bed?
“The cleaning lady left it on the living room table yesterday,” Shen Yu explained. “You didn’t notice, so I put it away.”
Qi Fang: “……”
Seeing Shen Yu’s gaze, Qi Fang decisively said, “I’m not taking it!”
Seeing his insistence, Shen Yu could only silently put the medicine box down, his expression showing a hint of helplessness.
The two lay down in bed and pulled up the covers. Qi Fang casually turned off the room lights, then moved closer to hug Shen Yu and give him a kiss, softly saying, “Goodnight kiss.”
Shen Yu thought for a moment and replied, “Ninety-one more to go.”
Qi Fang chuckled, about to speak, when suddenly he felt Shen Yu lean in close, earnestly kissing him.
“Ninety times,” Shen Yu said.
Qi Fang then reduced this number to eighty-nine, eighty-eight, eighty-seven…
Shen Yu’s lips grew numb from his kisses. His usually clear thoughts began to become confused and disoriented. He absently wondered if the redness and swelling on his lips would subside before work tomorrow.
Seeing Shen Yu’s rapid breathing, Qi Fang pulled away slightly, kissed Shen Yu’s forehead, and said contentedly, “Alright, let’s sleep, Shen Yuyu.”
Before Shen Yu could react, he felt Qi Fang tucking him in, then burying his face in the crook of Shen Yu’s neck to take a deep breath, as if inhaling a cat’s scent, and then—
He fell asleep with utter nonchalance.
Shen Yu lay on his back, opening his eyes: “…”
The literature hadn’t lied to him.
Qi Fang’s psychological barrier was indeed severe.
He might need to try harder to help Qi Fang overcome this shadow.
*
Qi Fang, whose “psychological barrier” was supposedly severe, woke up before five in the morning.
This was unavoidable. He had been forced to eat so many blood-nourishing foods lately, and this week, Shen Yu had started bringing home seemingly innocent yet suspiciously potent foods like chives and yams.
Qi Fang had finished all the Wangxiaoji herbal tea hidden in the room, but it was like a drop in the bucket, causing him great distress.
At around four in the morning, while the world outside was still quiet, Qi Fang propped himself up and first glanced down at the person beside him, using the faint light seeping through the curtains.
He rarely had the chance to observe Shen Yu’s sleeping face. When they were younger, he had plenty of opportunities to steal glances at Shen Yu napping on his desk during breaks, but as they grew older, such chances became scarce.
Shen Yu lay on his side, his hair slightly mussed from the pillow. His breathing was slow and light, with almost no other small movements or expressions revealed in his dreams. His sleeping face looked incredibly well-behaved.
Qi Fang raised his hand, miming pinching Shen Yu’s nose in the air.
“I’m really afraid of scaring you, Shen Yuyu,” Qi Fang murmured silently.
Facing the person he deeply loved, it would be a lie to say he had no reaction at all, but Qi Fang figured that since he had endured for over two years, what difference would a few more days make?
After staring at Shen Yu in a daze for a moment, Qi Fang finally couldn’t bear it anymore. He quietly shifted to get out of bed, intending to leave the room for a cold shower.
Unexpectedly, because Shen Yu was not used to having someone sleep beside him, he was sleeping lightly. Qi Fang’s movements stirred him awake.
Vaguely aware of movement beside him, Shen Yu, who was not fully conscious, reflexively reached out his left hand and grasped something.
“Mm?” The feeling was off. Shen Yu made a questioning sound.
Qi Fang’s entire body froze.
Leave a Reply