Turtle Raine

Occasional translation projects for Chinese BL danmei novels

Chapter 10: Nothing (Past)

Jealousy overflowed like spilled vinegar jars, one after another, until Chu Jin belatedly realized this was what it meant to like someone.

The night Chu Jin finally understood his feelings for Luo An, he tossed and turned all night without sleep. The next day, he rushed to Luo An’s apartment building in a frenzy.

Before leaving, Chu Jin had specially tidied his hair. However, when he reached the entrance, he hesitated, conflicted. Looking in the mirror at himself in a simple black and white T-shirt, his expressionless face appearing somewhat serious, Chu Jin frowned deeply.

The image of Luo An chatting happily with that boy suddenly surfaced in his mind, making Chu Jin’s frown deepen further.

Luo An always seemed so cheerful when talking to that boy. The boy often smiled, and when he did, Luo An smiled too. Unconsciously imitating the boy’s manner when chatting with Luo An, Chu Jin forced an awkward smile at his reflection.

But his attempt was so clumsy that instead of a smile, it looked rather comical.

When Chu Jin arrived at Luo An’s apartment building, Luo An was still busy organizing a student council club activity. Hearing someone was looking for him, the young man, wearing a baseball cap, braced one hand on the edge of the stage and with a slight flex of his arm, vaulted down.

“What’s up?” Luo An asked.

“Luo-ge, someone’s waiting for you downstairs!” someone hurriedly reported.

Both Luo An’and Chu Jin were good-looking, and coming from the same place, many initially thought they were close friends—until their repeated clashes. Gradually, their antagonism became an unspoken fact among everyone.

Even when arranging activities, they had to be careful not to let the two of them meet, fearing they’d start bickering at the slightest provocation.

“Waiting for me?” Luo An adjusted the brim of his cap. “Who?”

“…Chu Jin.”

Hearing this, Luo An was puzzled. After all, he’d been behaving himself lately and hadn’t bothered Chu Jin in ages.

What could Chu Jin want? Recalling how Chu Jin had blocked his path with a thermos just to tie his shoelaces after leaving the basketball court last time, Luo An was baffled.

But anyway, if Chu Jin was looking for him, it had to be to pick a fight!

After some thought, Luo An borrowed a pair of boxing gloves from the student council.

Ridiculous! How could he not retaliate when challenged? Did they think he was a pushover? Luo An gritted his teeth. It’s just a fight, right? As if he’d be afraid of Chu Jin!

With this in mind, Luo An suddenly lost interest in stage decorations. After delegating the tasks, he eagerly headed towards his apartment.

Chu Jin didn’t know how long he’d been waiting downstairs.

Perhaps because of what he planned to say, Chu Jin was uncharacteristically nervous. Even though he never stumbled when giving speeches to thousands at school, his palms were sweating as he waited.

Time passed quickly as Chu Jin repeatedly rehearsed what he wanted to say in his mind.

“Luo An, I like you…” Too blunt, not good.

“Luo An, I have something to tell you…” Isn’t this how many conversations start? Wouldn’t it lack originality?

Chu Jin had no experience with confessions. He could only fumble through the words and actions, constantly fretting and revising.

When Luo An returned to his apartment, he saw Chu Jin deep in thought.

At that moment, Chu Jin looked up at Luo An.

“Luo An, I li—”

“Chu Jin! Take this!”

Chu Jin: ??

Chu Jin: …

Fortunately, Chu Jin’s reflexes were quick. He deftly dodged sideways just as Luo An charged at him like a firecracker.

Only then did Luo An remember Chu Jin seemed about to say something. While sparring with Chu Jin, he asked, “Oh right, what were you going to say?”

Dodging another incoming punch, Chu Jin’s “I like you” retreated further and further in his heart under Luo An’s barrage of fists.

Chu Jin: “Nothing.”

Luo An: “So you did come to pick a fight?”

Chu Jin: “No.”

Luo An: “Then why?”

Chu Jin: “Nothing.”

Luo An: …

Couldn’t he say a few more words?

In the end, this “confession” concluded with a display of their fighting skills.

Back in the present, the moon disappeared behind the clouds again, plunging the old mansion into darkness.

As buried memories slowly surfaced, a hint of nostalgia crept into Chu Jin’s eyes, softening his usually sharp features.

Hallucinations came in waves, various versions of Luo An appearing before him.

When Luo An’s third brother found Chu Jin, he had already lost consciousness. The man’s eyes were tightly shut, his lips pale.

Chu Jin lay in intensive care for a full month, his awareness fluctuating between lucidity and confusion. Worse still, the poison from the bite on his leg had spread, and Chu Jin nearly faced amputation.

When the doctor informed Chu Jin of this, he remained calm—too calm, even.

Chu Jin only asked how long it would take to walk again if he got a prosthetic limb.

Chu Jin said he couldn’t be unable to stand. He still hadn’t found Luo An.

He feared… Luo An could not wait for them any longer.

<< ABP Chapter 09ABP Chapter 11 >>

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