Turtle Raine

Occasional translation projects for Chinese BL danmei novels

Chapter 01: Just Playing Around

“You really got involved with him, huh?” The voice on the phone sneered. “Zeng Lin, you don’t actually like that ‘disabled person,’ do you?” Surrounding them were grating laughter and jeering from others.

“Him? He fell for a few sweet words, how could I possibly like him? I was just playing around for a few days, just looking for something fresh.” It was a voice Meng Chen knew well.

“How was it? That poor thing looks pretty good, and how does he taste…”

“Not worth it. Seeing that scar, I just…” The man paused. He had never actually seen an omega’s scent gland before. The omega had been injured, always covering their gland with a cheap suppressing patch. The kid was so timid, flinching whenever an alpha was near. The man unconsciously didn’t want to uncover the kid’s scar, though he didn’t know why.

The man seemed annoyed. “Forget it, why bring him up?”

What of it? Disgusting? Separated by a door, Meng Chen stood outside the private room, peering through the crack to see the man seated in the center of the crowd. He heard every word clearly. 

Inside was his…lover, as he had once defined them.

Meng Chen was an omega with a damaged scent gland. Once, on his way home, he was nearly marked by a deranged stalker. At the last moment, Meng Chen gouged out his own gland.

Many said an omega without their gland was like a withering, fading flower. When Meng Chen reached for his own neck, he prepared himself to wither. His alcoholic father, absent mother—he had always been an unwanted child. Even if he disappeared into some nameless alley, no one would remember him.

He was a roadside weed no one wanted, buffeted by life’s winds and rains as he struggled to grow up.

In his parched existence, Meng Chen had to put in all his effort just to barely survive. The complications of a damaged gland were severe: irregular heats, lowered immunity, nights of insomnia… Meng Chen checked his bank balance, carefully calculating every expense. Artificial glands were too expensive, as were the medications for his symptoms. 

But he desperately wanted to live.

Meeting Zeng Lin was a complete accident. That day, Meng Chen had just left the bar where he worked, changing into his bleached white clothes, when he ran into the man walking the opposite way—a tall alpha. Instinctively, Meng Chen hastily stepped aside, only for his symptoms to flare up, causing him to faint right into the man.

When Meng Chen woke up, the faint scent of disinfectant lingered. He opened his eyes to whitewashed walls and an IV in his arm, realizing he’d been taken to a hospital.

“You’re awake?” Someone spoke up—the man from the alley. 

“Mm.” Meng Chen unconsciously shifted to sit up.

The man stopped him, pointing at the IV bag overhead. “Careful, don’t move around.” He grabbed a hand warmer from nearby. “The IV might feel a bit cold. Xiao Chen said using a hot pack should help. Still feeling uncomfortable” Xiao Chen was the man’s assistant.

Feel uncomfortable? Meng Chen thought. Perhaps a little, he always felt tense around alphas. But he decided to endure it, maybe due to the inquiry “Still feeling uncomfortable?” or the lingering warmth of the hot pack.

Meng Chen thought his encounter with Zeng Lin would end there, but found himself frequently running into the man – sometimes after work, sometimes during his shifts as Zeng Lin became a regular customer.

Perhaps noticing Meng Chen’s financial difficulties, the man would call Meng Chen over every time he visited. With the tips and extra money, Meng Chen was able to save quite a bit in a month. Sometimes the man came alone, sometimes with friends, but Meng Chen preferred it when the man came alone; that way, he could have a chat with him.

Like a parched traveler, Meng Chen saw Zeng Lin as an oasis in his barren life. Despite his fear of alphas, he tentatively reached out from his fragile shell to confess his love to this young alpha.

“Can I pursue you?” he was a bit nervous, his speech becoming stuttered.

Some things were just too beautiful, and he wanted to hold on tight.

The man seemed to smile, Meng Chen thought he must have agreed.

Genetically, highly compatible Alphas and Omegas carry inherent bonds. But Meng Chen was a flawed Omega; he and Zeng Lin had neither a matching bond nor harmonious compatibility.

Today, the man hadn’t returned “home” again, and Meng Chen lay alone, thinking about Zeng Lin’s words in the morning.

Just playing around? Meng Chen wondered.

So Zeng Lin didn’t love him, nor did he love their “home”. But their “home” was too warm. How much courage did a drowning person need to let go of that piece of driftwood?

However, he still had to leave. Meng Chen returned to their “home”.

He didn’t have many things, but there were two big boxes of various stuff. He had desperately wanted to integrate himself into Zeng Lin’s life, carefully ensuring his things occupied a bit of the Alpha’s territory.

Meng Chen caressed his gland, feeling the twists and turns beneath his palm.

Was there resentment? Definitely.

But he had never really been a fragile Omega. In the course of growing up alone, the first thing he learned was to love himself properly. So when faced with his alcoholic father’s violence, he would escape the small town without hesitation; so when he was being followed in the alley, he would resolutely point the small knife at his gland; so at this moment, he thought he could let go of the man who didn’t love him.

Love was not a necessity in life; he could live alone, get sick alone, feed and clothe himself alone, just like before.

Meng Chen had once again become an unwanted weed. He took his luggage with him into the starless night. The night was truly a breeding ground for nightmares, he needed to bury his budding love.

Dust Chapter 02 >>

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2 responses to “Dust Chapter 01”

  1. Fai

    Thank you for translating!!

  2. Luoyuan

    Respect for leaving.

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