In the bedroom, the dim nightlight illuminated a corner of the dream. The Omega slept relatively peacefully under the soft warm yellow glow. He breathed steadily, nestled in the blanket, only his fluffy head exposed. 

The alcohol-induced redness on Meng Chen’s face had not yet faded. Zeng Lin hurriedly called the family doctor. Meng Chen’s injured palm was carefully treated and bandaged into a dumpling-like shape with pristine gauze. 

The Alpha sat on the edge of the bed, one hand loosely gripping Meng Chen’s wrist to prevent the young man from accidentally pressing or bumping his hand while asleep. 

As an omega, Meng Chen’s wrist was exceptionally slender, a small circle. The young man’s hands were not smooth; the pressure of survival had inevitably etched traces onto them. 

Zeng Lin had held those calloused hands whenever Meng Chen fervently embraced him. 

The young man was quite restless when asleep, perhaps due to a lack of security in childhood. He would subconsciously want to hug something, like the worn-out little dinosaur toy or like the past Zeng Lin. 

Meng Chen used to embrace him, even when the complications of his damaged gland left him breathless, he was willing, like the mermaid walking on the edge of a knife¹In the original Hans Christian Andersen version of Little Mermaid, the mermaid’s legs constantly feel as if she is walking on sharp knives. “The Sea Witch also warns the mermaid, that when she consumes the potion she will feel that a knife is passing through her body. Once she recovers, she will have legs, but it will feel as if she is walking on sharp knives the entire time and she will bleed constantly, but she will be able to dance unlike any other human.” in a fairy tale, taking ninety-nine steps towards Zeng Lin without hesitation.

Zeng Lin thought he wouldn’t notice the young man’s little habits, but Meng Chen had unknowingly become an indispensable part of his life. 

The Alpha had to admit his feelings, and also acknowledge his own despicableness. On a silent night, he could no longer deceive himself; the burgeoning love scattered from the flickering lights, finally bursting forth in the dark. 

Lost in thought, Zeng Lin was startled when the young man seemed to feel hot under the blanket. His palms itched terribly, occasionally throbbing with pain. Meng Chen slowly opened his eyes.

“I… I didn’t touch…” Zeng Lin recalled the young man’s loathing gaze earlier. 

Meng Chen waved his hand away, not wanting him to touch. But the drunken omega couldn’t go far, so Zeng Lin silently followed him. 

“You drank too much earlier. I… I couldn’t find where you lived, so I brought you back… ‘home.’” The Alpha was at a loss. This was no longer their “home”; the person who tended to this “home” no longer wanted him. 

Yet it was he who had first abandoned this “home” first, so he had to bear all the consequences. 

Without Meng Chen, this house felt empty, no different from any other. 

It was ridiculous that Zeng Lin still explained himself to Meng Chen after inflicting such grievous harm. He had finally learned to respect the Omega’s thoughts, explaining to someone he had once disregarded. 

The usually glib and eloquent Zeng Shao remained flustered, yearning for Meng Chen’s tenderness, even love. However, he was the least qualified person to ask for Meng Chen’s forgiveness.

Meng Chen tilted his head, staring at him in confusion. Drunk, his consciousness flickered between lucidity and haze.

“Is there any water?” Meng Chen’s voice was hoarse, his lips dry, his head aching again. 

“Yes, yes.” Zeng Lin carefully rose, fumbling to fetch water. “Don’t move around first.” Before leaving the room, he looked at Meng Chen’s hand and cautioned him again before rushing downstairs.

“Take a hangover medicine first.”

Zeng Lin brought over a box of hangover pills he had just found and knelt before the bed. Clumsily holding a glass of warm water, he imitated how Meng Chen used to care for him, his voice low, “Otherwise, you’ll feel uncomfortable and won’t sleep well.”

He brought a white pill to Meng Chen’s lips, but Meng Chen didn’t open his mouth. Zeng Lin tried the warm water instead, but Meng Chen still didn’t open his mouth.

Zeng Lin was at a loss, “Do you… want something else to eat?”

Meng Chen looked at him, not fully sober yet, just itching terribly from the cut on his palm. He stared blankly at the glass in Zeng Lin’s hand, as if only then remembering his thirst.

“Water.”

Meng Chen propped himself up on his elbow and opened his mouth. Zeng Lin brought the glass closer. Having gotten drunk, Meng Chen was quite thirsty and drank eagerly.

When taking the hangover pill, Meng Chen seemed more sober and took the pill and glass himself instead of letting Zeng Lin help. He tossed his head back as he swallowed.

“You can go ahead. Thank you, I’ll rest for a while and tidy up before leaving.” Meng Chen didn’t look at Zeng Lin, rolling onto his side, facing away.

With reason regained, Meng Chen’s tone resumed its cold detachment.

“I… I can change your bandages,” the Alpha hesitated, looking at the thin young man under the blanket.

But Meng Chen ignored him.

Sober Meng Chen would not accept Zeng Lin’s belated, rather cheap concern.

“Be… careful with your hand,” Zeng Lin said after a long pause, watching Meng Chen.

Turning off the light and closing the door, Zeng Lin left the bedroom. The house fell silent again, devoid of sound or life. The warm yellow light remained, but without someone waiting by the sofa, everything felt meaningless.

Zeng Lin recalled the times he returned late. No matter how late, Meng Chen would always be waiting in the yellow glow. Sometimes, he curled up napping on the sofa, sometimes spacing out watching the TV chatter or comedy. He never reproached Zeng Lin for the late returns, as if he would keep waiting as long as Zeng Lin came back.

No matter how long, no matter if he could be waited for.

When they were together, Meng Chen was always too soft, offering all his treasures to the dragon Zeng Lin. 

How could anyone be so foolish? Zeng Lin thought.

Yet he was the despicable one. He grew unsatisfied with the young man’s gentle nature and for some reason, began testing his limits – returning late, acting cold and impatient, even deliberately exposing himself to other omegas’ pheromones. Taking the young man’s affection for granted, he began to recklessly squander it without fear.

So the young man didn’t want him anymore. Meng Chen didn’t want Zeng Lin anymore. 

It was he who shattered the easily attainable stability, then hoped for the earliest days after it was all beyond repair.

He brought it upon himself.

When Meng Chen left, he was still uncomfortable, but seeing the familiar room, he couldn’t bear to stay any longer. 

Outside, the blue sky and white clouds. The Omega wiped away his last traces and closed the door behind him without a backward glance.

TL Notes

• 1
  In the original Hans Christian Andersen version of Little Mermaid, the mermaid’s legs constantly feel as if she is walking on sharp knives. “The Sea Witch also warns the mermaid, that when she consumes the potion she will feel that a knife is passing through her body. Once she recovers, she will have legs, but it will feel as if she is walking on sharp knives the entire time and she will bleed constantly, but she will be able to dance unlike any other human.”