Turtle Raine

Occasional translation projects for Chinese BL danmei novels

Chapter 05: I Don’t Like You Anymore

Meng Chen quit his job at the bar. The complications from his damaged glands worsened rapidly. He didn’t expect it to happen so fast. Living together with an alpha day and night put too much strain on his broken body. Zeng Lin was an S-class alpha, and the oppression was unimaginable.

He had been sleepy lately, sometimes for up to fifteen hours straight. His glands were deteriorating and beginning to atrophy. The only good news was that after years of saving, he had accumulated some funds, and the gland surgery was arranged.

Meng Chen booked a train ticket to the seaside town where his hometown was located. He didn’t have any intention of returning to his roots; it was just that after wandering his whole life, he couldn’t find a place to rest.

The two ends of the arrow on the train ticket connected his ordinary yet tumultuous life.

One end was the love strangled in the cradle, and the other was the dark and damp years of his young man.

Enter the station, get the ticket punched, and board the train.

Meng Chen took one last look at the city where he had struggled for ten years.

Whether it was nostalgia or reluctance, it was ultimately just the past, and people had to look forward.

On the slow train, Meng Chen calmly watched the trees on both sides of the railway gradually recede, along with the neon-lit city, moving away from him.

The painkillers were becoming less effective. Initially, he only needed one pill to sleep well, but recently, even after taking several times the dosage, he often woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat.

The surgery had a high risk.

As the train pulled into the station, the distant sound of cicadas reached him. He suddenly remembered something he had heard once:

“Cicadas wait seventeen years just for one summer, that one summer when they emerge from the soil, grow from larvae, until the autumn wind blows, and their lives end.”

Compared to cicadas, Meng Chen thought, he was still somewhat fortunate. He had lived through a total of twenty-three summers.

It was just that for this twenty-fourth summer, he could only fight desperately.

It couldn’t be called regret; he had given his all to many things, and in the end, he had let go.

His hometown had changed significantly. During the years he was away, the booming tourism industry led to high-rise buildings shooting up. Meng Chen walked through the crowds with his bag, constantly greeted by people coming and going, trying to attract guests from afar.

Everything was so unfamiliar. But amid the crowd, he seemed to catch a glimpse of Zeng Lin’s figure. How could he be here? Meng Chen didn’t dwell on it, dismissing it as a mistake.

Walking towards “home,” everything became familiar again. His father and mother were both betas, an ordinary couple in this ordinary seaside town.

Meng Chen recalled his childhood when he used to sit on his father’s shoulders, basking in the spring breeze and sunshine, with his mother following behind, and a little dog bouncing around them.

But fate had been unkind later on. Home, such a fragile thing, could be completely overturned by a little storm and turmoil, reduced to rubble.

His father’s business partner ran off with the money, leaving the family in massive debt overnight. His mother sold many belongings, and they moved from the villa to the most remote small house in the town. 

His father became depressed, turning to alcohol and violence, leaving his mother helpless. Little Meng Chen heard his mother packing but dared not ask anything, only curling up in the corner and watching that gentle woman leave at dawn.

He was always sensible, even locking the door quietly for fear of his father waking up. He wanted his mother to be happy, and of course, it would be better if she could take him along.

But his mother didn’t take him with her.

After his mother left, his father’s alcoholism worsened. Meng Chen was almost constantly covered in bruises during that time, the hardships of life falling unfiltered on a child under ten. 

He had cried out heart-wrenching wails in the night, gradually falling silent under his father’s curses. 

So he left, too, a newly presented omega with a small backpack, taking a bus to who-knows-where under the cover of night.

After drifting around, he returned to that broken little home.

At the door was a hunched old man, his back turned to the young man as he worked.

Meng Chen deliberately made his footsteps heavier, and sure enough, the old man turned around.

Meng Chen and the old man looked alike, so the old man recognized him immediately. He mumbled a few words but ultimately stayed silent.

“You’re back?”

“Yeah.”

Neither mentioned the past, as if he had just been away for a trip.

Following the old man’s gesture, Meng Chen entered the room, empty and barren, with no extra furniture or piles of liquor bottles.

Seeming to notice Meng Chen’s confusion, the old man volunteered, “I quit drinking… quit a long time ago…”

After losing his wife and son, this old man finally put down the bottle. But Meng Chen didn’t want to forgive him, nor the scars that still remained on his body.

The old man seemed to know as well, silently opening a door that led to Meng Chen’s former bedroom.

The small space was tidy, with all of Meng Chen’s belongings well-preserved. 

Meng Chen settled into the cottage, and the old man learned of his condition. The success rate was very low, with only a glimmer of hope.

The old man, in his fifties, spent a sleepless night, rummaging through boxes and drawers, squinting through reading glasses as he repeatedly checked the figures on the short bank statement.

The meager savings were spread on the table, and the old man choked back sobs several times. 

They both knew that no matter how much money, the surgery’s success rate wouldn’t change.

In August, Meng Chen was admitted to the hospital. The old man, who hadn’t traveled far in decades, insisted on accompanying him this time.  

He had missed too much already. At this moment, he only wanted to help his child through the most difficult days. Despite being hunched and once unforgivably cruel, he still wanted to be a father.

What Meng Chen didn’t expect was encountering a familiar face at the hospital. 

Or perhaps not encountered, as the Alpha had followed them all the way.

Seizing the moment when the old man went to store their belongings, Meng Chen turned and walked into the hallway. Hurried footsteps sounded behind him, and as he turned, his gaze met Zeng Lin’s.

How to put it? The Alpha looked haggard, with undisguisable dark circles under his eyes.

“Meng Chen…” The Alpha’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he started to speak but stopped, looking at Meng Chen. After Meng Chen left, he could barely sleep, his mind replaying that night he forced the Omega to drink.

His heart had stirred too early, and by the time he realized it, it was too late. 

Too late for the Omega, who had grown disillusioned, uttering the word “leave.”

That night, the accusations from the Omega were something he couldn’t refute because everything was the bitter fruit he had planted with his own hands. 

Yet Zeng Lin still said, “Let me explain.”

Meng Chen seemed truly indifferent, glancing at Zeng Lin with a smile as he cut him off, “There’s nothing to explain.” 

They hadn’t even had the AO bond marking; he used to think it was Zeng Lin’s respect, only to realize later it was simply disdain and disgust.

“We ended long ago.” Meng Chen took a deep breath, the burden heavy facing an S-class alpha due to his condition. He leaned imperceptibly against the wall. “Zeng Lin, I can’t keep going with you.” 

“You know about my body, I can’t accept an alpha. Before, I was willing to endure the pain, but now, I really don’t like you anymore.”

In September, the complications worsened, his injured glands deteriorating and compressing the nerves, causing Meng Chen to experience blindness. A new beta patient had recently arrived in the shared room.

The beta seemed to have suffered some injury, and for the first few days, Meng Chen could hear muffled groans of pain. However, the beta had a decent personality, though quiet, helping Meng Chen out considerably.

Once when the old man was busy at home, Meng Chen nearly had an accident alone at the hospital, but the beta timely found a doctor.

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