Little Mushroom tilted his head, looking at the hand extended by Jiang Songshi’s friend.
Little Mushroom remembered this person. This person seemed to know the bar owner. Previously, when Little Mushroom was on stage, he had heard this person asking the boss for his contact information.
However, Little Mushroom didn’t sense any malice from this person, so he didn’t care much about it.
But if this was the stupid human’s friend… the tiny mushroom on Little Mushroom’s head twitched: “Hello.”
Little Mushroom sat upright properly, his motion polite and graceful.
“Hey, hello. Can we exchange contacts? I’m–” The friend smiled and extended his hand, about to introduce himself.
“His surname is Yu, Yu from duōyú (unnecessary/surplus).” Jiang Songshi stood between the two, blocking his friend’s view, and took it upon himself to introduce his friend.
Friend: ???
Unnecessary Yu?
It’s clearly the auspicious1年年有余 (nián nián yǒu yú) – lit. (may you) have abundance year after year / (an auspicious saying for the Lunar New Year) “Yu”, okay!
The friend was pushed aside by Jiang Songshi, the hand meant to shake Little Mushroom’s now grasping at… air.
Jiang Songshi didn’t just block his friend’s view, he blocked it completely, guarding it like a fortress. Until Little Mushroom dejectedly finished his sparkling wine and left the bar, the friend couldn’t exchange a single word with Little Mushroom.
After Jiang Songshi brought Little Mushroom home, Yu Li, the friend Jiang Songshi had almost forgotten, messaged him.
[LiBuli: What was that about? ]
[LiBuli: Why couldn’t I talk to him?]
[Shi: Can’t mess with a friend’s wife, got it?]
[LiBuli: ……]
[LiBuli: You? Guys?]
[Shi: Yep, you can call him sister-in-law.]
Yu Li: Met a boy he likes, with a snap, the boy he likes turned into a sister-in-law.
Jiang Songshi was replying when Little Mushroom took off his cap, the tiny mushroom on his head swaying.
Jiang Songshi put down his phone and fixed Little Mushroom’s cap.
“Tired?” Jiang Songshi asked.
It was already 4 a.m., and Little Mushroom hadn’t rested. He had done a few DJ sets and drank some, too, and he was indeed rather tired.
Little Mushroom: “Tired…”
Jiang Songshi went to get pajamas for Little Mushroom, and when he returned, he found Little Mushroom had already fallen asleep on the coffee table.
When Little Mushroom was asleep, the tiny mushroom on his head closed its cap too.
Jiang Songshi approached Little Mushroom, planning to carry him to the bedroom.
Little Mushroom groggily opened his eyes: “Stupid… you…”
Little Mushroom: “Like…”
Jiang Songshi didn’t understand what Little Mushroom was saying, only catching the word “like.”
So Jiang Songshi hugged Little Mushroom tightly, wiped his face clean, and left a kiss on Little Mushroom’s lips.
Jiang Songshi said: “Good night, silly mushroom.”
Good night, Jiang Songshi also likes Little Mushroom.
From that day on, Jiang Songshi began learning the mushroom language.
The Mushroom Survival Guide was printed in two copies – Little Mushroom would read a sentence, and Jiang Songshi would repeat it.
But Jiang Songshi was a slow learner. Listening to Jiang Songshi’s nonsensical responses, Little Mushroom would get so angry the tiny mushroom on his head bristled.
Little Mushroom introduced himself in Mushroom Language: “#…#!”
Meaning he came from the jungle and was a little mushroom named Mushroom Overlord.
Jiang Songshi only heard what he wanted to hear, and expanded on what he didn’t understand.
Jiang Songshi: “You said you’re from the jungle, Jiang Songshi’s little mushroom? Your name is Yiyi?”
Little Mushroom: “###!”
Meaning, just learn it properly, don’t add or remove words!
Jiang Songshi: “Got it! Jiang Songshi’s little mushroom!”
Little Mushroom was angry!
Not only that, Jiang Songshi was also an easily distracted student.
For instance, after studying for ten minutes, once the alarm rang, Jiang Songshi immediately put down his pen and looked at Little Mushroom expectantly.
Little Mushroom sighed, realizing again he shouldn’t have promised Jiang Songshi study rewards! Who rewards after just 10 minutes of studying? But last night, Little Mushroom had been dazed from the kissing, and by the time he recovered, he had already agreed to this stupid human’s request.
Little Mushroom wanted to take it back, but the stupid human said in human society, only puppies could go back on their word.
Little Mushroom always felt “puppy” carried different meanings in different contexts, like how this “puppy” was probably different from an actual puppy.
Little Mushroom wasn’t like the stupid human – Little Mushroom was a diligent, studious little mushroom!
Just as Little Mushroom was about to object, Jiang Songshi made a well-reasoned argument: “Dogs belong to the Chordata phylum, Vertebrata subphylum, Mammalia class, Theria subclass, Carnivora order, Caniformia suborder, Canidae family2https://animaldiversity.org/accounts/Canis_lupus_familiaris/classification/. Mushrooms are neither animals nor plants, composed of a mycelium body as the nutrient organ and a fruiting body as the reproductive organ3Mycelium is the vegetative part of the mushroom. It appears as white filaments that grow through a nutritious substrate. You can kind of think of mycelium as the root structure of a mushroom.
Fruiting Body is the part of the mushroom that grows out of the tree or the ground and can be harvested. It’s what most people think of when they think of a mushroom.
…”
Jiang Songshi explained meticulously.
Little Mushroom was confused by Jiang Songshi’s long-winded speech, blinking in bewilderment. Though this wasn’t what Little Mushroom wanted to ask, it sounded impressive.
“So how could Little Mushroom be a puppy?” Jiang Songshi finally concluded.
Little Mushroom didn’t fully understand, but it seemed Jiang Songshi made sense, so Little Mushroom nodded dazedly.
“So Little Mushroom can’t go back on his word,” Jiang Songshi continued matter-of-factly.
Little Mushroom thought, it seemed that way.
Jiang Songshi: “Last night, you said that after studying for ten minutes, I’d get a kiss as a reward.”
“But if you’re uncomfortable with it, you don’t have to kiss,” Jiang Songshi said with downcast eyes. “Learning Mushroom language is just a little tiring, I’m fine with it.”
Author’s Note:
Jiang Songshi (pitifully): I’m fine ⊙_⊙ Little Mushroom doesn’t have to kiss, I can endure it QAQ
Note: The explanations about dogs and mushrooms are from Baidu~
TLN: I had to look up that part about dogs and mushroom TAT
TL Notes
- 1年年有余 (nián nián yǒu yú) – lit. (may you) have abundance year after year / (an auspicious saying for the Lunar New Year)
- 2
- 3Mycelium is the vegetative part of the mushroom. It appears as white filaments that grow through a nutritious substrate. You can kind of think of mycelium as the root structure of a mushroom.
Fruiting Body is the part of the mushroom that grows out of the tree or the ground and can be harvested. It’s what most people think of when they think of a mushroom.
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