15.

“When did you actually get to know me?” Yang Qinyu sat in the Imperial Garden, clutching a hand warmer. Besides tutoring the young Emperor, he spent his days like this – perched on a small stool in the pavilion, keeping Xiao Buhuan company.

Prime Minister Yang had told him that due to the Empress Dowager’s influence, Xiao Buhuan couldn’t enter the Imperial Study for now. This was a way for the Empress Dowager to assert her authority over him.

Xiao Buhuan dipped his brush in ink, writing something on paper. He hadn’t noticed that he always furrowed his brow when writing.

Sometimes Yang Qinyu would sigh, thinking that no one was more devoted than Xiao Buhuan.

How could he not understand? When one’s position is threatened, suspicion takes over.

Yang Qinyu’s impression of the Empress Dowager was still of her smiling kindly at him, her gaze somewhat resembling his late mother’s.

“Why do you suddenly ask these questions?”

“Think about it. You said I was rash, glib, and stupid,” Yang Qinyu counted on his fingers. “Though I like you, I can’t fathom what you see in me.”

“Yang Qinyu,” Xiao Buhuan called his name, set down his brush, and walked around the stone bench. He crouched before Yang Qinyu, arms encircling his waist. “Don’t you know, that was the first time I’d said such things? I wanted you to remember me.”

Yang Qinyu chuckled helplessly, hands leaving the warmer to cup Xiao Buhuan’s cheeks. Lowering his head to meet Xiao Buhuan’s gaze, Yang Qinyu had to admit the Prince Regent was incredibly handsome.

Forehead to forehead, Yang Qinyu whispered, “Xiao Buhuan, you’re the Prince Regent. You shouldn’t fear… Besides, what’s there to fear?”

“I feared you’d forget me, like at the palace banquet six months ago.” And then all their interactions would become nothing.

Yang Qinyu froze, realizing the misunderstanding.

Six months ago, upon first seeing Xiao Buhuan, he’d wanted to befriend him, but nothing came of it. What he’d missed was Xiao Buhuan’s interest in him.

“You fell for me at first sight? There’s a term called ‘lust at first sight¹见色起意 (jiànsèqǐyì) – When you see a beautiful person, you have thoughts of violating her..’ Is the Prince Regent such a person?”

“You’re talented beyond measure. The memorials the Prime Minister submitted – as I suspected, most were penned by you.”

He suddenly raised his head and pecked Yang Qinyu’s lips, startling him.

“I found you extraordinary from the start. Now, I’m even more grateful.”

Yang Qinyu recalled how before entering the palace, Prime Minister Yang had often fretted over state affairs. Priding himself on his extensive reading, Yang Qinyu had written several memorials and slipped them into his father’s documents.

He never imagined Xiao Buhuan would notice.

Yang Qinyu lightly punched him, feigning anger. “You made me think you looked down on me! That you didn’t want to be true friends!”

“But my idea of ‘true’ differs from yours.”

Yang Qinyu shook his head, lowering to gently kiss Xiao Buhuan’s forehead. He whispered, “I was attracted by your looks, but we are exchanging sincere feelings.”

16.

When he next saw the Empress Dowager, she seemed to have aged years.

She rested against the table, eyes half-closed in feigned sleep. The entire chamber was warm.

Wisps of incense smoke curled upwards, eventually fading into nothingness.

“Your subject greets the Empress Dowager.”

She opened her eyes slightly and dismissed the attendants with a wave.

Beckoning to Yang Qinyu, she said, “Come, Qinyu. Talk with me awhile.”

“As you command.”

Perhaps this was the first time the Empress Dowager had revealed her thoughts to an outsider. Though she may have held back, or he may have been too young to fully understand, her words betrayed weariness and reluctance.

A woman who’d entered the palace as a girl, carefully climbed the ranks for decades, her hands stained with blood to reach her current position, now willing to discuss her struggles with an outsider.

“This isn’t an era for women,” she glanced at Yang Qinyu, her inherent authority impossible to fully conceal. “Prime Minister Yang cherishes you. When Xiao Buhuan first proposed exchanging you for the imperial seal, I knew the Prime Minister would side with him. Moving against the Prime Minister’s family would surely incite Xiao Buhuan to rebel.”

The Empress Dowager turned to him. “Qinyu, I’m not trying to make things difficult for you. You have talent for governance. The late Emperor left us too soon. I’m not comfortable entrusting the Emperor to others. I only ask that you promise to be a devoted Imperial Tutor. Don’t let me down.”

Prime Minister Yang had once sighed to Yang Qinyu that the Empress Dowager had grand ambitions, but she was also a mother, and that role took precedence.

Perhaps she could have greater power, but she loved her son more. So, she couldn’t allow the young Emperor to make any mistakes.

“What mother doesn’t love her child? The Emperor’s sister died tragically. It’s a pain I’ll never overcome.”

The Empress Dowager grasped Yang Qinyu’s hand, patting it gently. “Qinyu, I won’t trouble Xiao Buhuan. I only beg you to be diligent. I’ve staked everything on you.”

Leaving the Empress Dowager’s palace, Yang Qinyu felt dazed. He wasn’t sure how much sincerity was in her words, whether she truly wanted to teach the young Emperor well or just use him as a pawn.

Yang Qinyu shook his head, thinking he should ask his father, the Prime Minister, about this.

Turning back, the door was gone, replaced by red walls with snow-covered eaves.

Yang Qinyu turned forward and continued walking.

Before, he hadn’t realized how long this path was. Now he saw it stretched endlessly – some might never reach its end in a lifetime.

17.

“So the Empress Dowager intends to fully relinquish power?” Yang Qinyu looked at his father in confusion.

They were in the Yang family’s ancestral hall. Yang Qinyu held three incense sticks, watching his father weep before his mother’s memorial tablet.

“Though we can’t say that absolutely… you… you should generally think of it that way—”

Prime Minister Yang nearly fainted again. As Yang Qinyu rose to support him, he was stopped by a hand.

“At least you have Xiao Buhuan protecting you— Oh, my wife! Who’d have thought we’d gain a Prince Regent as a son-in-law—”

“…Father, I intend to live well. Your crying is a bit too loud.”

His father’s wailing stopped abruptly. He glared at Yang Qinyu, then resumed wailing. “See how quickly he’s turned against us—”

18.

Spring Festival arrangements were delegated to the Ministry of Rites, and Xiao Buhuan could once again freely enter and exit the Imperial Study.

After that day, Yang Qinyu’s approach to tutoring the young Emperor became less carefree.

Though he considered himself incompetent, he couldn’t let the young Emperor become incompetent too.

Yang Qinyu lightly tapped the young Emperor’s head with a rolled-up book, frowning slightly. “This is wrong, Your Majesty. I’ve told you several times.”

Another ink blot appeared on the paper. Looking closely, one could see beads of sweat on the young Emperor’s nose despite the cold.

“Brother Qinyu, I’m sorry. I’ll write it again.”

Yang Qinyu sighed, removing the brush from his hand and placing it on the inkstone. He took the Emperor’s hand and stood up.

“Your Majesty, come here.” He led the young Emperor to a newly installed curtain in the Imperial Study. Lifting a corner slightly, he first glanced at Xiao Buhuan several times.

The silence spoke volumes. Yang Qinyu lowered the curtain and turned, crouching to speak gently to the Emperor. “Your Majesty is young. These are already great burdens for you.”

He patted the young Emperor’s head. “But you were born into the royal family. You enjoy much more than ordinary people. As the saying goes, with great privilege comes great responsibility. Your Majesty bears the weight of the entire nation.”

Often, Yang Qinyu feared speaking too lightly would be ignored, yet also feared speaking too harshly.

He secretly glanced back through the curtain at Xiao Buhuan’s silhouette. As always, he was bent over his work, handling numerous affairs for the young Emperor.

His Xiao Buhuan was always diligent. Yang Qinyu truly feared that one day, without a word, Xiao Buhuan would work himself to death.

If that day came, he’d compile an empty book, writing in it daily to scold Xiao Buhuan.

Turning back to the young Emperor, Yang Qinyu strengthened his resolve:

He absolutely couldn’t let the Emperor become incompetent!

Perhaps in time, Xiao Buhuan would again accuse him of being cold-hearted.

TL Notes

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  见色起意 (jiànsèqǐyì) – When you see a beautiful person, you have thoughts of violating her.