WAYCAV Chapter 52

Changing clothes proved to be an unexpectedly difficult task for Su Zhiyan. The moment the words left his mouth, he immediately regretted them.

But then he thought about it again. Right, what’s the big deal? They’re both guys!

So what if Shen Nianjing might like men? It couldn’t possibly be him, so what was he hesitating about?

Su Zhiyan, you’re getting way too self-conscious.

So Su Zhiyan smoothly unbuttoned his pajama shirt one button at a time right in front of Shen Nianjing.

He kept his head down the whole time, focused and serious as he took off his pajamas and grabbed the sweater and shirt nearby to put on.

The whole process was smooth and fast. Su Zhiyan thought this was a perfect example of lightning-speed clothes changing.

But that wasn’t how it looked to Shen Nianjing.

Su Zhiyan had an exceptionally attractive frame. His lean muscles were well-proportioned and healthy, with smooth lines that flowed seamlessly down to his long, straight legs.

Shen Nianjing stared for a while, then quietly picked up a pillow and placed it on his lap.

When he looked up again, Su Zhiyan was focused on buttoning his shirt, and the tight lines of his waist were gradually being covered by the shirt as he pulled it closed.

Shen Nianjing suddenly thought Su Zhiyan would look pretty good in a fitted suit.

A soft chuckle escaped him as his gaze landed on Su Zhiyan’s overly serious but slightly flushed face.

So cute.

Su Zhiyan quickly pulled on his final layer, the sweater. He let out a long breath and looked at Shen Nianjing with a casual expression, shrugging his shoulders.

As if to say, see, I’m done changing.

Shen Nianjing nodded. “Mm, looks good.”

Su Zhiyan: “…”

Damn, who gave you permission to say that?

Su Zhiyan felt inexplicably flustered and walked out of the bedroom fanning himself.

Shen Nianjing smiled, waited a moment, then casually tossed the pillow aside and strode after him.

They got ready to go to the hot spring pools. On the way there, Su Zhiyan kept deliberately maintaining distance from Shen Nianjing.

His mind was a mess.

When he was changing clothes just now, even though he kept his head down, he could clearly feel Shen Nianjing’s gaze lingering on him the entire time.

That gaze was too intense, like it was physically pinning him down.

The terrible thing was, Su Zhiyan felt panicked because of that gaze.

What exactly was he panicking about?

He couldn’t figure it out.

Just like he couldn’t figure out why sometimes Shen Nianjing looked at him so differently from how he looked at other people…

They reached the corner of the hallway and saw the pools, which were much quieter than yesterday. Most people were still sleeping in or had gone somewhere else to play, so very few came to soak in the hot springs.

Su Zhiyan changed in the changing room. When he came out, he saw Shen Nianjing leaning against the wall waiting for him, his handsome face basking arrogantly in the sunlight streaming through the window.

Su Zhiyan’s eye twitched. He looked away expressionlessly and walked ahead of him.

But when they got close to the main entrance, his steps stopped and his expression clearly panicked for a moment.

Shen Nianjing raised an eyebrow and was about to ask what was wrong when Su Zhiyan suddenly covered his mouth with his hand and pushed him around the corner of the hallway.

Shen Nianjing: “…?”

He looked down at Su Zhiyan, who was craning his neck to watch what was happening at the pool entrance, looking somewhat… embarrassed?

Shen Nianjing tilted his head and looked over there curiously.

Then in the silent air, he heard the faint sound of kissing.

They had almost walked in on an intimate moment.

Su Zhiyan forced himself to endure the awkwardness and listened for a while to make sure the other people hadn’t noticed them.

He breathed a sigh of relief and looked up to find Shen Nianjing staring quietly at him.

And his hand was still covering Shen Nianjing’s mouth.

The latter didn’t move at all, just raised an eyebrow at him slightly.

Su Zhiyan’s mind went blank.

The next second, something wet and warm brushed across his palm.

“!”

He yanked his hand away, gaping at Shen Nianjing. “You—” Did you just lick my hand?!

But Shen Nianjing’s expression was calm, as if nothing had happened at all.

Su Zhiyan stared at Shen Nianjing in a daze, his fingers flexing unconsciously.

The muffled kissing sounds continued nearby. Su Zhiyan’s face burned hot, and so did his palm.

He looked at Shen Nianjing and suddenly felt like the questions he couldn’t figure out before now had an answer.

Like vines that had been tangled together finding a new place to grow. Even though they could break free from their restraints, they would only fall into deeper, more complicated entanglement.

Su Zhiyan’s nervous embarrassment abruptly paled as a thought struck him: Am I getting sick again?

After they returned to campus, Su Zhiyan rarely initiated conversations with Shen Nianjing. But Shen Nianjing tirelessly asked him every day whether he was still having dreams, what he wanted to eat tomorrow, who would save seats for whom in the next class, questions like that.

He also brought him little sweets and snacks every day, and of course, would share some with Wen Bei who looked on eagerly.

Su Zhiyan would occasionally chat with him for a few sentences without thinking, but just when they were getting into it, he would realize what was happening and stop abruptly. He would awkwardly change the subject and give a few perfunctory responses before ending the conversation.

He spent a week with these complicated feelings, then went home for the weekend to spend time with his family.

“Ge!”

Su Zhiyao buzzed with excitement, spinning around Su Zhiyan all day. “I’m the English speaker for our school’s ‘Window to the World’ event next week! I want to wear that beautiful hanfu for our class’s country display photos.”

Su Zhiyan looked up. “No, it’s too cold.”

“I’ll use heat packs!” she protested. “This is winter hanfu anyway!”

Usually their school uniforms focused on comfort, so there were rarely chances to wear pretty clothes on campus. Su Zhiyan thought about how she had been looking forward to winter just to wear this hanfu, so he didn’t continue to object. After humming in agreement, he said, “Remember to use several heat packs, stick them on the outside of your base layers so you won’t get burned.”

Then he paused and added, “Go ahead and wear it. This red hanfu looks really good and suits you well.”

“Okay!” After getting her brother’s approval, Su Zhiyao directly hugged the hanfu and kissed it twice. The white fluffy fur on it felt so comfortable against her face. After being happy for a while, she blinked and said, “Ge, you’re a bit different from before.”

Su Zhiyan glanced up. “Different how?”

“Just… you have better taste and you’re gentler?” Su Zhiyao thought for a moment. “Kind of like Shen-gege.”

Suddenly hearing that name from his sister’s mouth, Su Zhiyan was stunned.

“Is that so,” he replied.

After a long silence, he murmured softly, “…I guess so.”

That evening Su Han and Chen Qiyue came home, and the family chatted about what everyone had been busy with lately over dinner.

This was normal for Su Zhiyan’s family. After eating, they put the dishes in the dishwasher, then everyone went back to their rooms to do their own things. Sometimes he would watch anime or play games with Su Zhiyao.

But this time, Chen Qiyue unexpectedly called him over.

“Sweetie¹?” Chen Qiyue, freshly washed and wearing glasses with dignified elegance, sat in the living room and called out to her son.

“Mom, are you and Gege going to have a talk?” Su Zhiyao came bouncing over.

Chen Qiyue gently squeezed her wrist, “Be a good girl and go to your room first. I need to discuss some private matters with your brother.”

Su Zhiyao pouted, “Oh…I thought I could stay.”

She was a bit disappointed but still obediently left.

Their family had always been straightforward like this, saying whatever needed to be said without beating around the bush.

When Su Zhiyan came over, Chen Qiyue gestured for him to sit beside her.

As a university lecturer for many years, she naturally carried herself like a teacher, with an academic air in every gesture.

“You’ve got something on your mind?” she asked once he was seated.

Su Zhiyan froze, then nodded.

“What is it? Tell mom about it.”

Su Zhiyan hesitated. “Can I really tell you?”

He had never talked to Chen Qiyue like this before, let alone starting right off with a topic about coming out.

“Go ahead and tell me.” Chen Qiyue looked completely unbothered. “My research projects have been criticized several times. What news could I possibly not be able to handle?”

Su Zhiyan’s expression twisted a bit.

“I think I like a guy,” he confessed, watching his mother’s face closely for any sign of surprise that might confirm how absurd this was.

Instead, his mom calmly took a sip of tea and said, “Oh.”

Her tone practically had “that’s it?” written all over her face.

Su Zhiyan: “………..”

“I, your son, am gay,” he emphasized.

Chen Qiyue put down her teacup and elegantly adjusted her glasses. “I heard you the first time.”

Su Zhiyan: “……”

“Aren’t you surprised? This isn’t normal.”

She smiled faintly, her hair framing her gentle face with perfect maternal poise.

“Sexual orientation is the result of many factors. Whether you like men or women is completely normal.”

“Besides, liking someone is an emotion you can’t control. It means someone really matches your energy, and you’re irresistibly attracted to them.”

“The important thing is…” She met his gaze steadily. “You need to make sure you really like them and aren’t just mistaking ‘having a good impression’ for romantic feelings.”

Su Zhiyan thought back.

At that time in the hallway by the hot spring pools, he was listening to the kissing sounds in his ears, and then Shen Nianjing licked him…

He actually had an impulse to kiss him back then too.

That realization terrified him.

That’s why he spent a whole week thinking about it without understanding how he could fall for a good friend.

And this person actually licked him.

“Don’t think that just because you haven’t had obvious romantic feelings for years and then suddenly like someone of the same sex, it’s some kind of… ‘mutation.'” Chen Qiyue used a word that fit her son’s logic. “Feelings are inherently illogical. If they made sense, they wouldn’t be called emotions², they’d be called drama³.”

Su Zhiyan looked at his mom with a wooden expression. “Mom, your jokes aren’t funny.”

Chen Qiyue calmly adjusted her glasses. “Is that so? Oh, I don’t need you to tell me that.”

After saying that, she continued, “Who knew my son’s first romantic awakening would be so complicated? I really didn’t expect it.”

“What are you conflicted about?” She didn’t understand. “Does he not like you?”

“That can’t be…”

Chen Qiyue was very confident in her son’s charm and completely couldn’t understand how anyone could reject her son.

Su Zhiyan frowned. “I don’t know…”

After a pause, he added, “Mom, don’t be narcissistic on my behalf. Plenty of people don’t like me.”

He wasn’t smooth with words, couldn’t comfort people easily, struggled with casual interactions and emotional support, and he didn’t have Shen Nianjing’s natural warm heart.

How could anyone possibly like him…

At most his face might attract some troublemakers⁴.

“Don’t argue with me yet. First tell me why you don’t know?” Chen Qiyue tried to help him sort through his thoughts. “How does he treat you?”

“Very well.” Su Zhiyan answered immediately. “He treats me very well.”

“But that just means he’s a good person, not that he likes me.”

“It’s not like guys haven’t pursued me before…” Su Zhiyan fidgeted with a pillow. He felt a bit awkward talking about this with his mom. “They’re usually very direct, asking for my number right away or using obvious methods and tactics.”

“But he’s different. The way he’s good to me is the same as how he’d be good to a really close friend, not like those other people.”

Chen Qiyue listened quietly, then smiled. “Yan-bao’er.”

Su Zhiyan responded automatically, “Hmm?”

“What if…” Her words cut through his confusion with perfect clarity, “people simply express affection differently?”

Su Zhiyan’s eyes widened slightly.

“Everyone has different definitions of ‘liking someone’ and different definitions of their target, so naturally their ways of pursuing someone are different too.”

“Maybe the guy you like also really likes you, but he just chose a more subtle way that respects you?”