WAYCAV Chapter 58

Su Zhiyan remained unusually quiet all morning, silent as if he’d muted himself.

In the afternoon, Shen Nianjing came to their dorm room. As soon as he walked in, he got startled by Wen Bei, who was sprawled across his chair in some twisted position.

“What are you doing, performance art?” Shen Nianjing placed lunch and milk tea on the folding table before slipping over to Su Zhiyan’s side to scratch his chin.

Su Zhiyan shrank his neck back and raised his hand to block him, giving him a stern look to stop.

Shen Nianjing smiled knowingly, tilting his head toward Wen Bei who remained half-dead on his chair, completely oblivious to their interaction.

Su Zhiyan pressed his lips together and looked away stiffly. It wasn’t like he was worried about Wen Bei seeing anything.

Ever since this morning when he… after that happened, he became much more sensitive to Shen Nianjing’s touch. The places where Shen Nianjing touched him felt all tingly, and it just didn’t feel right.

Could he be allergic to Shen Nianjing?

Ridiculous.

Su Zhiyan cursed himself in his head.

“Hey, playing dead?” Shen Nianjing walked over to Wen Bei and observed this human statue up close. He really couldn’t understand his performance art, so he turned to look at Su Zhiyan. “What’s wrong with him?”

Su Zhiyan: “…”

He looked at Shen Nianjing with a complicated expression. Before he could say anything, Wen Bei jumped up on his own and yelled at the confused Shen Nianjing, “I got hit with two major life shocks this morning!”

Shen Nianjing was confused. “?”

“And then what?”

Wen Bei raised his fists, wanting to speak but stopping, stopping but wanting to speak again. Finally he blurted out angrily, “You two are dating and you kept it from me? And I had to find out myself?”

He couldn’t recover from the shock all morning. Shen Nianjing and Su Zhiyan had met through him, and just when he thought he was happily fanning the flames of brotherly love, they told him the rice was already cooked???

So what was he?

A wingman¹?

Wen Bei looked at Shen Nianjing with sad eyes. Shen Nianjing reached out with both hands to control his head and slowly turned it toward the table full of delicious food. The sadness in Wen Bei’s eyes instantly faded as he broke into a radiant smile.

Getting free food made being a middleman worthwhile.

“Forget it.” He picked up his chopsticks and said righteously, “For the sake of Xiao Zhiyan being in a bad mood today, I won’t add to his burden.”

He gave Shen Nianjing a meaningful look before digging in enthusiastically.

Su Zhiyan stiffened at being singled out, his eyes flashing with discomfort.

Shen Nianjing had been about to ask how the usually clueless Wen Bei figured them out, but when he heard this, he immediately turned to look at Su Zhiyan. He leaned down and asked softly, “What’s wrong, are you unhappy?”

His low, gentle tone made Su Zhiyan’s ears burn.

He looked at Shen Nianjing stiffly, pressed his lips together, and replied, “Don’t listen to his nonsense.”

Wen Bei protested through a mouthful of food, “How is that nonsense? You barely said a word all morning. Isn’t that because you’re in a bad mood?”

Su Zhiyan: “…”

“No.” He said coldly.

Seeing he didn’t want to talk about it, Shen Nianjing smiled and led him to the dining table, squeezing his shoulders with both hands. “Then let’s eat first. You’ll feel much better after eating.”

Su Zhiyan unconsciously touched the spot where Shen Nianjing had just touched him, his expression a bit unnatural. “Okay.”

But he really wasn’t in a bad mood, he was just feeling awkward.

The frustrating part was he didn’t know where this awkwardness came from.

Shen Nianjing was very curious about Wen Bei’s second life shock and asked, “So what else shocked you?”

At the question, Wen Bei’s face immediately fell, and even the meat in his mouth didn’t taste good anymore.

“Of course it was the key points for the major course exam.”

“They’re complete garbage!” His expression was pained, then he looked at Su Zhiyan with gratitude. “Luckily my dear Zhiyan told me the professor’s usual focus points. I might survive this.”

“Drop the’my dear.'” Shen Nianjing said flatly.

Wen Bei rolled his eyes. So petty.

“Good thing there are fewer classes now. Once I get through these three weeks, I’ll be free!” He raised his arms and cheered.

But Su Zhiyan’s eyebrows twitched.

After break… would he and Shen Nianjing still be able to see each other every day?

His already unpleasant mood got even worse.

“We’re both locals, so we can go out on dates every day.” As if hearing his thoughts, Shen Nianjing turned and said.

Su Zhiyan froze, then nodded under his gentle gaze.

After eating, Shen Nianjing pulled Su Zhiyan outside for a walk.

There weren’t many people on campus in the afternoon, so he directly took Su Zhiyan’s hand.

“Can I hold it?” he asked with a slight smile, watching Su Zhiyan’s face.

Su Zhiyan replied awkwardly, “You’re already holding it, so why ask?”

If you want to hold it, just hold it.

He told Shen Nianjing about having another dream last night with a completely straight face. His face felt a bit hot from nervousness, but his voice stayed perfectly steady without even a tremor.

After finishing, he cleared his throat and pretended to be calm.

Anyway, Shen Nianjing didn’t know what was in his dream. Even if he asked, he could just use that apocalypse story he made up.

To his surprise, Shen Nianjing didn’t ask at all. Instead, he pulled Su Zhiyan to a small pavilion on campus where no one was around and directly hugged him.

Su Zhiyan’s heart jumped and he instinctively wanted to push him away. “What if someone walks by?”

Shen Nianjing nuzzled his neck. “It’s freezing cold. Anyone with a brain is in their dorm enjoying the heating while studying. Who would come to this godforsaken corner after eating?”

Su Zhiyan: “…” Go ahead and insult yourself, but don’t include me, thanks.

Shen Nianjing buried his face against Su Zhiyan’s neck and hugged him tightly with both arms.

Yesterday he held back the whole day from hugging and kissing Su Zhiyan. He had to admire his own self-control. Having such a cute boyfriend right next to him but only being able to look, people who didn’t know might think he was in rehab.

Su Zhiyan let him hold him. In this intimate, tight embrace, the awkwardness he’d felt since waking up this morning slowly melted away and gradually disappeared in the cold wind.

“So you were in a bad mood today because you had another dream?” Shen Nianjing’s muffled voice reached his ears.

Su Zhiyan’s face was pressed against his shoulder, feeling a bit hesitant.

Yes and no.

But how could he explain this?

I had a physical reaction to you, but I don’t know how to express it, so I feel awkward?

Su Zhiyan half-closed his eyes, smiled softly, and cursed himself again for being ridiculous.

Seeing he wasn’t responding, Shen Nianjing turned to look at him.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked softly.

Su Zhiyan snapped back to reality and looked up to meet Shen Nianjing’s eyes.

Shen Nianjing’s eyes were half-lowered, his gaze deep and intense, looking very… seductive.

Su Zhiyan just stared at him, then as if possessed, tilted his head up and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

The kiss was light and gentle, just a brief touch, but it still made Shen Nianjing’s whole body stiffen.

His breathing hitched as he stared intently at Su Zhiyan.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Su Zhiyan rarely took initiative like this. The last time Su Zhiyan made the first move was after they fought and made up. Since then, it never happened again. Instead, he often told Shen Nianjing to control how long their kisses lasted.

This made him sad and hurt for a long time.

But this time Su Zhiyan actually kissed him first. Although he was excited inside and wanted to just grab his head and kiss him properly, his instinct told him Su Zhiyan definitely had something to say. This was probably the reason he’d been moody all day.

Su Zhiyan looked up with bright eyes.

“It’s nothing,” he said.

Shen Nianjing frowned and pulled Su Zhiyan to sit down in the pavilion.

The pavilion was surrounded by pine trees. Once they sat down, they were completely hidden. No one could see them unless they came close.

Shen Nianjing’s gaze locked firmly onto Su Zhiyan’s eyes, not giving him any chance to look away.

“Are you struggling with something? Is something bothering you?”

He sensitively picked up on Su Zhiyan’s emotions and asked directly.

Su Zhiyan’s heart suddenly felt sour.

Shen Nianjing cared about him a lot, he understood that, but he really didn’t know how to explain!

This unfamiliar territory of dating was so troublesome. With a troubled expression, Su Zhiyan realized he had no idea how to navigate each step, let alone understand his own inexplicable emotions sometimes.

But if he didn’t tell Shen Nianjing, they might end up having misunderstandings.

He didn’t want to see that happen, and he believed Shen Nianjing didn’t want it either. Otherwise he wouldn’t be asking so patiently and seriously.

Su Zhiyan took a deep breath. He stopped avoiding and looked directly at Shen Nianjing. “If I don’t get close to you, I feel really uncomfortable.”

Shen Nianjing’s lashes fluttered as he stared deeply at Su Zhiyan, his gaze so intense it felt almost tangible.

Su Zhiyan’s face heated up under his stare, but he still continued, “I… I think I really want to touch you. This is different from before when I just wanted to avoid dreaming. When I don’t see you, I miss you. When I do see you, I want to be close. If I can’t, it makes me feel terrible.”

He spoke hurriedly, his eyes growing misty. By the end, he hung his head in embarrassment.

Help… this was so embarrassing.

How did he end up saying all that?

Su Zhiyan’s face flushed slightly red. He grabbed the corner of Shen Nianjing’s clothes and kept twisting it around his fingertips, trying to distract himself.

Then a pair of hands cupped his face.

He looked up and met Shen Nianjing’s gaze.

Shen Nianjing’s eyes were bright and burning, his breathing a bit heavy.

He leaned closer to Su Zhiyan, stayed quiet for a moment, then asked gently, “Does it make you happy when I get close to you like this?”

This scene felt familiar. Su Zhiyan suddenly remembered that time at the hotel when Shen Nianjing had also approached him little by little like this, asking if he minded his touch.

Back then he thought Shen Nianjing was helping him test whether he was uncomfortable with same-sex contact, especially after meeting so many jerks.

But now it seemed… there was another purpose.

He whispered, “Happy.”

More accurately, very happy.

He loved all forms of physical contact with Shen Nianjing, whether it was holding hands or hugging.

Shen Nianjing smiled, a very gentle smile.

He gently stroked Su Zhiyan’s face with his fingers and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. “What about this?”

Su Zhiyan nodded.

Shen Nianjing looked at him with bright eyes and said softly, “I’m very happy too.”

Though his tone was gentle, you could clearly hear the excitement making his voice tremble slightly.

“Su Zhiyan.” He murmured his name.

“You want to see me, want to get close to me, want to kiss me and hug me. It’s because you like me. This is the natural attraction between all couples.”

He took a breath and continued, “You don’t need to feel embarrassed, and don’t hold back these feelings.”

Because I want even more than you do.

Shen Nianjing’s throat moved as he gently pressed their lips together before pulling back. “Just like how I want to hold you and kiss you all the time when I see you, it’s also because I like you.”

I like you very much.

He understood that Su Zhiyan was a bit slow when it came to emotions, or rather had some cognitive barriers. This had a lot to do with his personality and his family’s way of interacting.

They got together purely on impulse. Otherwise he probably would have had to chase Su Zhiyan for a long time before he realized “oh, so he likes me.”

Luckily there was that moment of impulse that let Su Zhiyan take the initiative to break through that barrier.

Otherwise Shen Nianjing was also a coward, a coward who worried about scaring Su Zhiyan and making him uncomfortable.

He had originally planned to gradually introduce Su Zhiyan to the concept of “romantic affection” after they got together. He didn’t expect Su Zhiyan to bring up these feelings himself.

He was so happy.

Really so happy.

If two people both really liked each other, it seemed like they didn’t need to follow the proper order of holding hands, hugging, kissing step by step.

Because hormones and dopamine had already given them the answer.

Shen Nianjing’s low, magnetic voice sounded very gentle.

Su Zhiyan’s face heated up and he pulled away Shen Nianjing’s hands that were cupping his face. “Your hands are so hot.”

“Really?” Shen Nianjing didn’t take the hint. “I don’t feel it. I feel so cold.” After saying this, he symbolically pulled his collar tighter, then leaned over to hug Su Zhiyan. “Help me warm up, Zhiyan-gege.”

Su Zhiyan: “…”

He looked up to find Shen Nianjing staring at him with deep eyes.

His breathing suddenly became slow as he stared at Shen Nianjing without blinking.

Shen Nianjing slowly moved closer, wrapped his arms around Su Zhiyan’s waist, and leaned down to kiss him.

Kissing really felt wonderful, especially with someone you loved. It was like being swept into a whirlpool of intimacy, electric currents of pleasure running from head to toe.

This dating thing really made it hard to keep your mouth closed², literally, Su Zhiyan thought.

The two kept kissing surrounded by trees, lost in the atmosphere of being deeply in love.

On the way back, Su Zhiyan lowered his head and buried the bottom half of his face in the collar of his down jacket, looking regretful.

They shouldn’t have kissed for so long. His lips were swollen again.

But Shen Nianjing walked beside him bouncing happily, completely ignoring the unusual redness on his mouth.

“Hmm?” His steps suddenly stopped as he squinted and looked ahead.

“?” Su Zhiyan followed his line of sight.

A boy in a thick white coat was sitting on a roadside chair looking at his phone.

The boy had very delicate features, a typical gentle type of handsome guy.

Su Zhiyan froze, suddenly feeling that he looked familiar.

“Xia Shi.”

Before he could remember where he’d seen that boy before, he heard Shen Nianjing say his name.